Its Just A Little Crush
If you all don't already know me, I'm a little shy. Well, A LOT shy actually. Especially when it comes to my emotions. I live most of my life in my head, mainly because I have a lot of spare time, hence why I started this blog. Sometimes I'm an open book, but most times I'm quiet, reserved, and read too much into things. Take my most recent crush for example.
About 3 years ago I developed a crush on a guy after having a dream. This gentleman was kind, caring, and had no idea I existed, let alone lusted after him. I mean c'mon now I wasn't pining away in my room drawing hearts on my notebook or anything. I was just pining in silence.
It took about a year for me to grow a pair (and yes, but a "pair" I do in fact mean balls) and ask him to come hang out with my friends and I. Well I got turned down. Very gently, I might add, with a legit excuse. A few weeks later I tried again and again I was turned down. As if the torture of this rejection wasn't enough I decided to add more pain to my plight and was again, turned down.
This rejection hit me hard, but it didn't deter me. I mean c'mon, this guy was perfect for me. Family and community oriented, nice to everyone, church-going, whats more to like?
Rejection didn't stop me for long though. I kept telling myself that the excuses he gave me were legit and reasonable. I mean I had come a little more out of my shell and we were having short little conversations every now and then. So brave little me (every time I say that I think "Brave Little Toaster," does anyone else remember that movie?), tried again last summer.
The timing was perfect. It was girls night and the perfect time to invite out my crush because my best friend's fiance was coming to dinner with us that night. He can make friends with the only other guy in a room. I thought "Great! He'll be there and this guy doesn't have to hang out with a bunch of girls all night!"
I sent the message, all proud that I sounded so flippant and carefree. Surprise! Yup, you guessed it another "legit" excuse. By this time I was getting so bummed out by the reject you know what I did? Pined away in silence, because why not add to that pain. I'm sure you know the feeling.
You know the moment when you go from oh my gosh those are pretty legit excuses to *sigh* I think I was reading too much into everything. I got to thinking, what did I ever gain from crushing and not speaking my feelings. Yeah at the time I was asking this guy to hang out, I thought my intentions were clear. I was just literally asking him to hang out, I wasn't saying "Dude, I like you, want to go out on a date?"
I've learned that if you want something, you go for it. You don't pine away in silence or overthink the situation. You just go for it and you go for it HARD! Even if its scary, even if you're shy. You just got to take a deep breath, be brave, and jump!
Stay Tuned!
About 3 years ago I developed a crush on a guy after having a dream. This gentleman was kind, caring, and had no idea I existed, let alone lusted after him. I mean c'mon now I wasn't pining away in my room drawing hearts on my notebook or anything. I was just pining in silence.
It took about a year for me to grow a pair (and yes, but a "pair" I do in fact mean balls) and ask him to come hang out with my friends and I. Well I got turned down. Very gently, I might add, with a legit excuse. A few weeks later I tried again and again I was turned down. As if the torture of this rejection wasn't enough I decided to add more pain to my plight and was again, turned down.
This rejection hit me hard, but it didn't deter me. I mean c'mon, this guy was perfect for me. Family and community oriented, nice to everyone, church-going, whats more to like?
Rejection didn't stop me for long though. I kept telling myself that the excuses he gave me were legit and reasonable. I mean I had come a little more out of my shell and we were having short little conversations every now and then. So brave little me (every time I say that I think "Brave Little Toaster," does anyone else remember that movie?), tried again last summer.
The timing was perfect. It was girls night and the perfect time to invite out my crush because my best friend's fiance was coming to dinner with us that night. He can make friends with the only other guy in a room. I thought "Great! He'll be there and this guy doesn't have to hang out with a bunch of girls all night!"
I sent the message, all proud that I sounded so flippant and carefree. Surprise! Yup, you guessed it another "legit" excuse. By this time I was getting so bummed out by the reject you know what I did? Pined away in silence, because why not add to that pain. I'm sure you know the feeling.
You know the moment when you go from oh my gosh those are pretty legit excuses to *sigh* I think I was reading too much into everything. I got to thinking, what did I ever gain from crushing and not speaking my feelings. Yeah at the time I was asking this guy to hang out, I thought my intentions were clear. I was just literally asking him to hang out, I wasn't saying "Dude, I like you, want to go out on a date?"
I've learned that if you want something, you go for it. You don't pine away in silence or overthink the situation. You just go for it and you go for it HARD! Even if its scary, even if you're shy. You just got to take a deep breath, be brave, and jump!
Stay Tuned!
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