Adventures in Online Dating in the UP
Dating is hard when you're in your 30's. Its even more difficult when you live in the small towns and cities of the UP. See, you've mostly already tackled your localized dating pool so you create a profile on a website. You choose the free ones because I mean, honestly, who wants to pay for a dating service when you barely make over the cost of living.
You spend hours, days even, creating the best profile available on this free site making sure to put that you are not looking for one night stands or hookups. You proofread your profile multiple times before you hit "complete," and want for the cyper-suitors to come a calling.
In my experience on these "free" sites you have to weed through the frogs to find your potential prince. Nine out of ten messages I get are creeps that don't even bother reading the five hundred times I wrote in my profile "Looking for a relationship." Seriously, aren't you supposed to creep a person's profile before you message them? You know to make sure they have similar interests/goals and the like. Or is that something I just do?
Some of these messages are quite hilarious. My friend once had a guy start out with "Hey, I have a BBC for you." Anyone know what BBC stands for? No, its not British Broadcasting Corporation. BBC stand for Big Black Cock. Now what self respecting (not to mention woman respecting) man comes on that strong? Gross! As the Ke$ha song (Sleazy) says, "Sorry daddy, but I'm not that easy."
Okay now onto my personal adventures.
I've been on this particular site for a number of years, so I know how to weed through the creepers. I've had 4 potential suitors so far, half of which I've met in person after having a conversation online. Besides just having great conversations with each of these men, I desperately wanted to go on more than one date with each in person.
Bachelor Number One was a great conversationalist. After a few days of back and forth typical getting to know you conversations, I was comfortable enough to meet him in person. He told me where he worked, a local restaurant. Great! I thought. I knew someone who worked there and he verified that he did in fact know her too.
I asked out mutual acquaintance about this guy. I was so excited to be able to ask someone about him who may or may not know him. To my dismay she told me he was a sexual offender and on the "list." I knew fully there are a lot of ways to get on THAT list. So I looked it up.... Big mistake. Mister I-Know-Your-Friend as it turns out was on the list for third degree criminal sexual conduct.
Moving on to Bachelor Number Two. This time we actually met at a local coffee shop for a real live date. It was great for the first ten minutes. He paid for coffee (even though I insisted he not), offered to buy a bite to eat, etc. Then he started talking.... Talking about how he was engaged for 3 years and she left him. He talked more about his ex than he did trying to get to know me. I couldn't get a word in edge-wise.
Then there was Bachelor Number Three. This one was pretty tame compared to the other two. We met at a different coffee shop for a cup of joe. He was nice, polite, and shared the conversation. I had gotten there early so I could in fact buy my own coffee and snack. Unfortunately our lifestyles were too different for me and I didn't feel any chemistry. On the plus side he just recently bought my van so hey that's a plus.
Finally, Bachelor Number Four. He was older, had a good head on his shoulders and had two dogs. Awesome! He almost immediately asked for my number. Being the shy, awkward woman I am I asked if we could talk on Facebook. He reluctantly agreed adding that his profile was sad and lonely as he just used it to talk to his father. Fine by me, I mean you don't want a guy to be too preoccupied with social media.
We had great conversations, mostly about food starting out. I like that. Nice and slow, easy does it. I thought "This is what it should be like." Then the inevitable happened.... I was hormonal the entire week before and anything he said made my blood boil. I chalked it up to weather change and hormones. Not thinking that it was my gut trying to tell me something.
It started out we were talking about pizza. He was raving about this one pizza place he loved and thought maybe sometime we could go there and share one. I thought "This is going great, maybe I could pile my friends in the car and go on a road trip to meet this guy." Twenty minutes later he asked what I wore to bed. I started to get uncomfortable. I made a few witty (nonsexual) replies. He asked how long it had been since I was with a man. The conversation was starting to make me upset. I told him that I was uncomfortable talking about this particular topic. He blew me off.
So ladies, if you are considering online dating (especially the free websites) be aware that this will be a long drawn out process. Dating in your 30's is not fun (for me at least). Its a long, tedious process and not for the faint of heart. However, it does give you some great stories to tell.
Well readers, until next time! Stay tuned for more of my adventures in dating, faith, friendships, and life.
You spend hours, days even, creating the best profile available on this free site making sure to put that you are not looking for one night stands or hookups. You proofread your profile multiple times before you hit "complete," and want for the cyper-suitors to come a calling.
In my experience on these "free" sites you have to weed through the frogs to find your potential prince. Nine out of ten messages I get are creeps that don't even bother reading the five hundred times I wrote in my profile "Looking for a relationship." Seriously, aren't you supposed to creep a person's profile before you message them? You know to make sure they have similar interests/goals and the like. Or is that something I just do?
Some of these messages are quite hilarious. My friend once had a guy start out with "Hey, I have a BBC for you." Anyone know what BBC stands for? No, its not British Broadcasting Corporation. BBC stand for Big Black Cock. Now what self respecting (not to mention woman respecting) man comes on that strong? Gross! As the Ke$ha song (Sleazy) says, "Sorry daddy, but I'm not that easy."
Okay now onto my personal adventures.
I've been on this particular site for a number of years, so I know how to weed through the creepers. I've had 4 potential suitors so far, half of which I've met in person after having a conversation online. Besides just having great conversations with each of these men, I desperately wanted to go on more than one date with each in person.
Bachelor Number One was a great conversationalist. After a few days of back and forth typical getting to know you conversations, I was comfortable enough to meet him in person. He told me where he worked, a local restaurant. Great! I thought. I knew someone who worked there and he verified that he did in fact know her too.
I asked out mutual acquaintance about this guy. I was so excited to be able to ask someone about him who may or may not know him. To my dismay she told me he was a sexual offender and on the "list." I knew fully there are a lot of ways to get on THAT list. So I looked it up.... Big mistake. Mister I-Know-Your-Friend as it turns out was on the list for third degree criminal sexual conduct.
Moving on to Bachelor Number Two. This time we actually met at a local coffee shop for a real live date. It was great for the first ten minutes. He paid for coffee (even though I insisted he not), offered to buy a bite to eat, etc. Then he started talking.... Talking about how he was engaged for 3 years and she left him. He talked more about his ex than he did trying to get to know me. I couldn't get a word in edge-wise.
Then there was Bachelor Number Three. This one was pretty tame compared to the other two. We met at a different coffee shop for a cup of joe. He was nice, polite, and shared the conversation. I had gotten there early so I could in fact buy my own coffee and snack. Unfortunately our lifestyles were too different for me and I didn't feel any chemistry. On the plus side he just recently bought my van so hey that's a plus.
Finally, Bachelor Number Four. He was older, had a good head on his shoulders and had two dogs. Awesome! He almost immediately asked for my number. Being the shy, awkward woman I am I asked if we could talk on Facebook. He reluctantly agreed adding that his profile was sad and lonely as he just used it to talk to his father. Fine by me, I mean you don't want a guy to be too preoccupied with social media.
We had great conversations, mostly about food starting out. I like that. Nice and slow, easy does it. I thought "This is what it should be like." Then the inevitable happened.... I was hormonal the entire week before and anything he said made my blood boil. I chalked it up to weather change and hormones. Not thinking that it was my gut trying to tell me something.
It started out we were talking about pizza. He was raving about this one pizza place he loved and thought maybe sometime we could go there and share one. I thought "This is going great, maybe I could pile my friends in the car and go on a road trip to meet this guy." Twenty minutes later he asked what I wore to bed. I started to get uncomfortable. I made a few witty (nonsexual) replies. He asked how long it had been since I was with a man. The conversation was starting to make me upset. I told him that I was uncomfortable talking about this particular topic. He blew me off.
So ladies, if you are considering online dating (especially the free websites) be aware that this will be a long drawn out process. Dating in your 30's is not fun (for me at least). Its a long, tedious process and not for the faint of heart. However, it does give you some great stories to tell.
Well readers, until next time! Stay tuned for more of my adventures in dating, faith, friendships, and life.
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